when hashi rears its head

I wrote this yesterday and almost didn't post it. But, in an effort to share the "realness" of life, I decided to go ahead and hit "publish."

I haven't talked publicly about Hashimoto's, my autoimmune disease, for a long time. For a while, it was THE thing in my life. But after getting on the right meds, vastly changing my diet, and learning to take care of myself, it's become just A thing, something that's part of who I am but doesn't rule my life.

Most of the time.

Today, though, I'm very aware of Hashi and the limitations it gives me. We had a major snowstorm that dumped 10-ish inches and created drifts of 3 or more feet. My car isn't going anywhere until it gets dug out.

I know that strenuous exercise isn't good for me, but what was I supposed to do? (Of course, I could've chosen to stay snowed in, at least in theory. But it didn't really feel like a choice. I needed to dig out.) So I bundled up and attacked the snow. After about 30 minutes, I quit. I'm still snowed in. And I spent the next hour sprawled on the couch. Three hours later, I'm not feeling much better.

I used to feel this—this deep, utter exhaustion—every single time I mowed my lawn. Last summer, I didn't feel it once, which is a testament to how much healing I've done. But it's frustrating to have my limitations thrown in my face. I cringe when I wonder if the neighbors think I'm lazy or wimpy—because I look perfectly normal; I look like I should be able to handle some snow. I was even slightly embarrassed when I admitted to my friend (and sometimes mail carrier) that "this" just about killed me when she delivered a package this afternoon, and she knew me when I was at my worst! I guess it's just humbling to be reminded that some things are out of my control, and I'm not really self-sufficient.

I also worry that this exertion is going to set me back, cause a flare-up of symptoms, and impact more than just today. I know that I'll need to be extra vigilant and extra gentle with myself for a while. This in itself is frustrating, as I'm forgoing some things I'd like to do (like keeping up with my steps in a walking challenge I've joined) in hopes of not making things worse.

But I'm also so thankful that I'm not where I once was. If it takes a snowstorm to remind me of both my frailty and of how far I've come, I guess I should be grateful. And I'm also grateful for my dad, who came over after he got off work and finished digging me out!

Read More

six weeks with morrocco method

For a while now, I've been searching for a solution to my ever thinning hair. I have the double whammy of Hashimoto's disease and PCOS, both of which can cause hair loss. I've also been moving toward the natural side of things as I attempt to reclaim my health. When I saw an ad for Morrocco Method on one of the blogs I follow, I decided to check it out. I could find nothing but rave reviews (which actually made me even more skeptical), but as it was cheaper than Monat, the shampoo brand I'd been using with some success, I decided to give it a go. I settled on the Healthy Hair Starter Package. At $69, it's a good chunk of change, but I thought it would give me the best taste of what the company had to offer.

Day 1: Used "Earth" shampoo, Diamond spray conditioner, and Blood of the Tiger gel. Shampoo smells horrible. My hair dried much faster than normal today. It also seems dull and lifeless. I also used my normal hair spray to finish off my style--not sure I could go without hair spray on a rainy day like today.

Day 10: My hair is a nasty grease ball. It has been ever since Day 2. I've rotated the shampoos like is recommended, but my hair never feels clean. They talk about a "detox process" on their website, so I guess that's what is happening to me. But YUCK! I'd throw in the towel if I hadn't paid so much for the system. So I'll stick it out for my month, I guess. Also, I should note that I'm not using any product anymore except what came with the system. And I should note that we took our yearbook staff picture for this year's yearbook today ... so the grease will be immortalized.

Day 11: I used the Zen Detox Masque tonight. Honestly, it felt like I was slathering mud on my hair. BUT, after I rinsed it out and my hair dried, the top of my head felt so much less greasy! I'm not going to shampoo tomorrow--it's Saturday, and I don't need to go anywhere--so we'll see where things stand on Sunday. I also watched a bunch of Morrocco Method videos on YouTube tonight. I probably should have watched them long ago--lots of helpful information about brushing and using that weird rubber massager that came with the kit!

Day 15: Got my hair cut today. As usual, my stylist washed it and then styled it with lots of product afterward. After using Zen Detox, my hair felt way less oily, but now it feels downright dry. Hope I'm not taking a step backwards ...

Day 30: So I took a major break from posting, but this is SO. WEIRD. My hair has become super curly! I've always had natural curl, but this is ridiculous.

I decided to continue beyond the initial month because I still had shampoo left. It's now been six weeks. So, what are my thoughts? I think my hair is healthier. The curls have backed off some, and there are times that my hair still feels greasy. I now wash every 2-3 days instead of every day. (On the off days, I still get my hair wet in the shower, I just don't wash it.)

What I haven't noticed is a slowdown in hair loss or new hair growth--two things I am positive were happening with Monat. So I'm still on the fence. I like Morrocco Method (except for the smell, which isn't terrible, but it's certainly not pleasant), but I'm not sure if it's the answer I've been looking for.

Read More

let's get real for a minute

You may have recently seen me posting about Jen Hatmaker's new book For the Love. (I say that tongue in cheek, as if you're my Facebook friend, you know For the Love and Jen are just about all I've been posting about recently!) I posted my review a couple weeks ago, and I'd love it if you'd go check it out.

If you've been following me very long, you know that I have an autoimmune disease: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.

Note: Those two paragraphs are connected. I promise. Just keep reading. 

I've been fairly open on the blog about my struggles with the disease, but usually I've been writing from a place of hope: I'm doing x, and I hope it will help. I've been feeling better, and I'm thankful.

But today's post is all about realism: This is where I am, this is how I feel, and this is why I'm frustrated.

One of my friends recently shared this article on Facebook. (Please, if you haven't read it, go do so now. I'll wait.) The author has Lupus, but it really could apply to anyone who struggles with a chronic condition. My sister texted me to tell me that she had read the article, and it helped her to understand what I'm going through. "And you definitely don't have the spoons to mow your lawn." So true, sister ... yet I also don't have the funds to hire someone to mow my lawn, so I do it anyway--and sometimes I pay the price later. (If you don't know what she means by "spoons," then go back and read that article I just linked to.)

Here's one small example to give you a glimpse at how Hashimoto's affects my life. For the last seven or so years, I've been attending a church in a town 20 miles away. It takes me exactly 30 minutes to travel from my house to my church. At first, I was involved in several things--choir, women's Bible study, an English-language tutoring program. Depending on the time of year, I made the drive to church between two and four times per week. But as Hashimoto's has reared its ugly head, the extra things have dropped off, and I now struggle just to make it to church on a Sunday morning.

I know that part of this, rightly or wrongly, is because I don't have to go to church. I have to go to work. I have to go to Saturday speech meets. But, as much as I love seeing my friends, as much as I'm challenged by my pastor's sermons, I don't have to go to church. And when I'm struggling with fatigue and just generally not feeling well, sometimes I don't possess the energy for that 30 minute drive.

I've made diet and lifestyle changes that have me feeling better than I did a year ago. But I still have bad days--days where I close the door to my office and lay on the floor for 20 minutes. Days where I can barely muster the energy to scramble some eggs for supper. Days where I hit the couch as soon as I get home from work and barely move until it's time for bed.

I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of a simple thing like walking across campus making me exhausted one day and energized the next. I'm tired of never knowing from one hour to the next how I'm going to feel. I'm tired of missing out on things because they happen at the end of the day when I have no spoons left. And I'm tired of the extra limitations I have because I'm doing this alone.

When I was growing up, I never would have believed you if you'd told me I'd still be single at age 34. Honestly, though, I generally don't mind being single. Would I like to be married? Yes. But singleness isn't something I dwell on ... most of the time. I find that I'm least content with my singleness on the days when I'm physically feeling the worst. Here's my train of thought on those days: If I had a husband, he could drive us to church--I wouldn't have to expend precious energy on driving. He could mow the lawn, or at least do the push mowing part that so wears me out. He could do the yardwork that I don't know if I will ever have the energy to do. Pretty selfish reasons for wanting a man, but I'm being real here!

I don't want you to think I'm an invalid: I'm not. I have a full time job. I take walks with my mom. I sing in a community choir. I get together with friends. I help coach a high school speech team (for now!). Some days, I feel pretty good, and I can do lots of things--it's just that I often need ample recovery time afterwards. That may mean that I skip out on an event or I take a day off work or I don't even attempt to get ready for church.

The really frustrating part, though? I can never tell when I'm going to have a good or bad day. Overall, there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to how I feel. (I mean, if I've stayed up late the night before or eaten total junk or been incredibly stressed, I can predict that I won't feel great. But often, when I feel bad, it's for no apparent reason. Same for when I feel good.)

The other frustrating part is that I don't look sick. In fact, with my 43-pound-and-counting weight loss, I look better than I've ever looked. So if you ran into me on the street or even know me casually, you'd have no idea there's anything wrong. Really, you'd only have a clue if you read my blog or are one of my close friends...because it's not something I like talking about.

Now, this is where Jen Hatmaker and For the Love come in. I've dealt with a decent amount of guilt over my illness. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense at first, but look at it this way: I am constantly missing out on things. I have a friend who faithfully invites me to a monthly Ladies' Night at her house, and I have yet to make it because by the time the weekend rolls around, I'm done. Church choir friends ask me when I'm going to rejoin the choir, and I put them off. Someone asks me how church was, and I have to admit I didn't go. Just a few hours ago, I made the decision to skip tonight's Newsboys concert at the State Fair, where I was planning to meet up with a friend I haven't seen in two years. I feel guilty about all those things.

I also feel guilty about the state of my lawn.

In For the Love, Jen talks about how women try to balance a zillion things--often things they don't need to be doing, be it for a season or forever. She talks about how we shouldn't look at other women to decide what we should be doing. I found that to be so freeing! At this particular stage, getting healthy is what needs to be "on the beam." I chucked church choir off the beam a year ago, and I don't see it ever returning! And I shouldn't feel guilty about that. I'm not shirking my duty to God or my church by prioritizing my health.

Graphic: Jenny Garwood

In an effort to keep fighting for health, I'm preparing myself to begin the Autoimmune Paleo Diet right after Labor Day. This is an incredibly restrictive diet for the first 30-60 days, and my hope is that following this diet will allow my gut to heal and will help me learn which foods I should avoid. I mean, it can't hurt, and I'm at the point now where I'm ready to try.

I don't know if this diet is the magic pill I'm looking for, and if it's not, I'll keep looking. I may wish that Hashimoto's wasn't part of my journey, but it is, and I think part of coming to terms with it and, eventually, healing, is being real about my struggles. In fact, I was feeling pretty down about everything when I started writing, and now, after putting everything out there, I'm feeling hopeful again, so we're already making progress!

I tell you all this not to make you feel sorry for me but to help you understand where I'm coming from. And can I ask you a favor? If you are healthy, don't take your health for granted. Live your life to the fullest, and thank God every day for the health He's given you.

Read More

35 before 35: #12

#12: Release 35 pounds

One year ago and today.

When I stepped on the scale this morning, I saw a beautiful number: 169.0. That makes 35 pounds down since I started following Trim Healthy Mama and 37 pounds total. I am more than halfway to my goal of 140, but honestly, whether I get there or not isn't so important to me. What is important to me is that I feel good, and in order to do that, I've had to slow down the weight loss.

Let me explain.

When I started THM, the weight came off pretty easily. My rate of loss wasn't nearly as quick as many of the women posting in the THM Facebook groups, but for me, it was rapid. So I have no doubt that THM works. One of the basic principles of THM is separating your fats and carbs. If you're going to eat a meal with more fats (say, pot roast), then you severely limit your carbs. If you're going to eat a meal with more carbs (like chicken breast and brown rice), you severely limit your fat. And you eat every three hours. You can have a carb meal or a fat meal whenever you want, as long as you're waiting enough time between meals.

The problem for me was that I had a much easier time coming up with fat meals, so I hardly ever ate carbs. In essence, I was following Atkins by default. This was fine at first. I told my mom once that my body told me when I needed more carbs by making me crave them, and I think that was true at first. But in April, after getting slammed by the nastiest cold I've had in years, I started feeling pretty bad again. Not as bad as I felt before I went gluten free and found my endocrinologist who put me on a T3 medication in addition to the T4, but still pretty bad. (If you're not a thyroid patient, don't worry about the gobbledegook I just spewed forth. If you are, and you haven't checked into T3, do it! It's made a world of difference for me.)

I started doing thyroid research again, and I found several sources that talked about how Hashimoto's patients need good carbs. Then I did a little experiment and found that I feel much better if I have a good portion of carbs for lunch. (I also found that I feel better if I avoid carbs at breakfast--either having greek yogurt or eggs in some form.)

So here's how Trim Healthy Mama works for me. (I don't always follow this, but I feel better if I do.) I probably shouldn't even call it THM anymore ... but I don't have a better name for it.

• I always have carbs with lunch. If I'm having a fat meal, like pork roast, I'll have a small portion of carbs. (I believe this puts it into S-Helper category for THM, but I could be wrong.) If I'm having a low-fat protein, then I'll have a larger portion of carbs.
• I've stopped avoiding potatoes and white rice; I just monitor my portions. They're higher on the glycemic index, which is what makes them a THM no-no. 
• I avoid refined sugar if at all possible.
• The only non-caloric sweeteners I use are stevia (in very limited portions) and Splenda (which is in the delicious Breyer's Carb Smart ice cream I eat two or three times per week). Otherwise, I use coconut sugar, honey, and maple syrup in baked goods ... and I limit my portions to one piece (most of the time).

While I've been following this modified diet, I've still lost weight ... it's just that things are going slower. In the past two months, I've only lost seven pounds, but I feel a whole lot better, and that's what's important!

See all of my 35 before 35 posts, where you'll learn that I have a ways to go in 13 months!

Read More

quick health update

It's been a long time since I've said anything about my health, but this is worth documenting, if for no other reason than so I can remember!

I've been gluten free since May 27, and in mid-December I started a diet called Trim Healthy Mama. I was off and on through the holiday season (but always still gluten free), and now I'm back on, for the most part. (Sometimes I will choose to eat something "off plan" like a potato when I'm out, but whenever I'm eating at home or at work, I follow the plan, which basically means separating carbs and fats, as well as not eating sugar.)

Since May, I have lost 15 pounds and at least one inch from everywhere I measured (waist, arm, hips, etc.) except my neck!

For someone who has Hashimoto's and PCOS, both conditions that make weight loss difficult, this is amazing!

I don't know just how much I've lost since starting THM because I stupidly didn't record weight or measurements, but I do know that in October, I was over 200 pounds (hence one of my October goals), and I was still over 200 when I saw the endocrinologist in early December (though just barely). As of this morning, I'm 190*, and my driver's license no longer lies about my weight! I can't wait until it's lying in the other direction :-) I can't really see a difference in how I look yet, but I do know that my clothes are fitting differently--still no drop in size, but things are getting looser!

As for how I feel, for the most part, I feel much better than I have in more than two years. (September 2012 is when things started going wonky for me.) Do I still have what I like to call "thyroid days"? Yes. But they're becoming fewer and farther between. Am I still tired all the time? You bet. But I'm not overwhelmingly exhausted anymore. (Well, speech season is kicking my butt, but I'm not as bone tired as I was during last year's speech season.)

Going gluten free and starting THM aren't the only things having an impact on my health--I'm now on an additional thyroid medicine that's making a huge impact, I'm exercising more (because I finally feel good enough to do some exercising), and I'm also getting better about setting limits for myself regarding activity and sleep. But I also have no doubt that the foods I eat and don't eat are playing a major role in how I feel!

The picture below of some of Nebraska Christian's staff went out to our alumni along with a Christmas gift. I'm on the far left. Seeing this picture is what made me realize I definitely needed to make some changes--I was a bit mortified to realize that all of my high school classmates would be seeing this photo (at least all of them that we have current addresses for). The day after I saw this picture, I started THM.

*I've joined this THM challenge to not step on a scale for a whole month, so this morning's weigh in will be my last for a while. If you've tried to lose weight, you probably know that the scale can be your worst enemy. I have a tendency to step on it each morning, and seeing the fluctuations does me no good. I'm hoping that this challenge, while extreme, will help rid me of the habit of compulsive weighing. 

Read More

six questions

This blog has been all about the book reviews all month long. Between reading, reviewing, working, and, well, watching Fall TV, I haven't had time for much else! But I do have other things to talk about, so I thought I'd do a question and answer post. I've thought of six questions that you might ask me if we met for coffee, and I'll answer them here. (Why six? Because six has been my favorite number ever since, as a six-year-old, I heard Bert sing about his favorite number.) So grab a cup of coffee—I've got my fall favorite pumpkin spice latte—and enjoy this glimpse into my world.

Are you still gluten free?
Yes! It really hasn't been too difficult, and the worst part by far is eating out. I've discovered that I absolutely love almond and coconut flour (too bad they're pretty expensive), and I've had fun experimenting with gluten free baked goods. (Some have turned out awesome, others not so much.) My favorite is a peanut butter cookie recipe that I've adapted into a really awesome cookie, if I do say so myself. I'll try to snap pics the next time I make them and then post the recipe here on the blog.

How are you feeling?
This is kind of ironic, as I'm writing this on a day that I'm having what I like to call a "thyroid day," but I actually feel tons better. I don't feel "normal" yet, but I feel the best I've felt in two years. Two years! I think it's a combination of going gluten free, changing medication, making sleep a priority, and reducing stress. I still have hopes of getting my energy back, losing weight, and being able to fully participate in things I love, but if this is all the better it gets, it's livable, and I will be grateful for the health I have.

The other day, while on a two-mile walk (something that would have killed me just six months ago but I did with ease now), my mom asked me what my dreams are. I couldn't even answer her. These last two years have been all about surviving, not dreaming. But now it's time to start thinking about goals other than "make it through the work day so I can crash on my couch."

What classes are you teaching this year?
As I have for the last couple of years, only yearbook. While I do miss getting to know the international students on as personal a level (which I talked about here and here), I also am enjoying my job as a whole more than I have probably ever. I still do a little bit of a lot of things, but my main area is communications: website, blog, Facebook, Twitter, our quarterly newsletter, etc.

Are you doing Singing Christmas Tree?
Considering Singing Christmas Tree has been such a huge part of my life and was even a large factor in my decision to attend my church, this may come as a surprise, but no. It's not that I don't want to participate, but I'm trying to make decisions that will help, not hinder, my healing process. One of the things I'm learning is that stress and tiredness are huge triggers for me. If I have a big, busy day, I can pretty much guarantee that either the next day or the day after that I will not feel well. Singing Christmas Tree is a wonderful ministry, but it is also incredibly time consuming and exhausting, and speech season (my most stressful time of the year) directly follows it. I want to go into speech as healthy and rested as possible. I hope to rejoin the choir next year.

What has God been teaching you?
First of all, I'm finally learning to say no to things. When I was struggling with whether or not to do Singing Christmas Tree, I mentioned to a co-worker what I was thinking. Her response? "You are way harder on yourself than anyone else will be. If you need to take a break, you take a break. They'll survive without you." So true. While I feel a little guilty about taking this year off, I shouldn't.

I'm also learning compassion. Because Hashimoto's is a disease that often isn't physically apparent, most people who see me would have no idea that anything was wrong with me. The knowledge that others have no idea how I feel has helped me understand that, likewise, I have no idea what others are going through. I need to extend grace to others instead of being so judgemental. I don't know what circumstances in their lives are influencing the way they behave and the decisions they make.

Most importantly, though, I'm learning that God has everything under control. It's one of those things that I always know in my head, but sometimes my heart forgets. And then God steps in, and it's like he's nudging me and saying, "See? I've got this." This was especially evident a few weeks ago. Back at the beginning of August, I finally got a referral to an endocrinologist, but I couldn't get in to see her until mid-November. This is the same endo my dad sees for his diabetes, so he called to see if we could switch appointments, as he had one in early September. They said no, since initial appointments take longer than return visits, but they could put me on a waiting list in case of cancellations. The morning of my dad's appointment, I got a call from the clinic—they had a cancellation, and the slot was mine if I wanted it. So I was able to carpool with my dad and see the doctor a full two and a half months early! If that's not a God thing, I don't know what is!

Now a fun one: Do you have any good movie or TV recommendations?
Of course I do! Movie first: Belle. It's about a mixed race daughter of an British Navy captain who is raised by her great aunt and uncle on an English estate in the late 1700s. I don't really want to say much more than that because you need to watch it. It would make a great companion piece to Amazing Grace—both deal with slavery in different ways.

TV: Forever. It stars Ioan Gruffudd as a man who can't die. Well, he actually CAN die, he just can't STAY dead. He's a medical examiner in New York City who has a skill for discerning how people died, and he often works with a female detective. Sound a bit like Castle? It definitely has that feel to it. So far, I'm loving it! You can watch the pilot episode here.

And while we're on the subject of TV, if you're looking for a good binge watching show, check out Ringer on Netflix. It also stars Gruffudd (and Sarah Michelle Gellar)—I recently recommended it to another blogger after she wrote about Forever, and then I had this urge to watch it again. I'm one of about five people who actually watched it when it aired on the CW, and I'm enjoying it just as much on this pass through as I did on the first. (Yes, it's ridiculously soapy with about a million plot holes, but it's so entertaining!) There's only one season, so you won't even have to spend much time watching. Plus, Logan Echolls is a guest star ...

Read More

i'm not a crazy cat lady, i promise!

The other night, I sat on the couch watching a movie. (Battleship. Don't waste your time. I gave up after about 40 excruciating minutes. I did enjoy the beginning, however, as Taylor Kitsch basically played an adult version of Tim Riggins, and I do love me some Riggins!) As I sat there, Isis jumped up onto my lap and began grooming herself, Skarra fell asleep on my feet, and Hammond ... well ... walked across my chest multiple times while whipping his tail in my face. I looked down at my crew and suddenly was struck with the realization that God sent my cats to me at the perfect time. Let me explain.

I adopted Isis, Skaara, and Hammond in July of 2012. In September of that year, I started feeling "not right," and by October, I was feeling pretty awful. Nearly two years later, I know what's wrong with me (Hashimoto's thyroiditis), and I feel like I'm finally clawing my way back to a near normal state—or at least a livable new normal. But these last two years have been the most stressful and difficult of my entire life.

At this point in my life, I'm single and childless. It's not the life I ever imagined for myself, but it's not a bad life, either. However, living alone makes it very easy to develop a selfish, woe-is-me attitude when I feel sick. Crazy as it may sound, having my cats to care for has made me less apt to focus on myself ... and I am absolutely positive that having cats has made me a happier person! (I'm pretty sure there are studies on how pets make you happier ... but I'm too lazy to search one out right now.)

So here's why I think God brought my babies* into my life at the perfect time. When I got them, they had to live outside per my lease, and three outdoor cats who roamed the neighborhood didn't seem at all excessive. Had I waited to get a cat until I bought my house, I probably would only have gotten one. Maybe two. No way on this earth would I have signed up for three house cats, and I certainly wouldn't have these three cats. They each bring their own unique personality (felineality?) to the mix, and I can't imagine our "family" without any of them. I love Isis' sassiness, her obsession with water, and her "this is not a cat person so I must make him love me" radar. I love that macho Skaara has to have a hug every morning while I'm getting ready for work. And I love Hammond's cuddly nature. (Could I tell you things I dislike about each of them? Sure. But that's not the point.)

Basically, what it boils down to is this: These last two years have been hard. At times, they seemed unbearable. My family and my friends have helped carry me through, and I am so grateful for them. I'm grateful for a God who knows me and understands what I'm going through, even when I don't understand it myself. And I'm also grateful for my cats, who bring me joy and keep me sane!

*Yes, I call them my babies, but I fully realize they're my cat babies, not human babies, and I AM NOT THEIR MOTHER. It's more like I'm the best friend that they worship. And they do adore me—they're not typical cats in that way. (Well, Isis' love is on her terms, but Hammond and Skaara straight up worship me.)

Read More

going gluten free: two week update

I've now been gluten free for two weeks. It hasn't actually been all that difficult. No dreams of bread, and my sister's amazing chocolate chip cookies didn't even appeal to me. (Read my introduction to my gluten-free diet here.)

My biggest challenge is one that I didn't anticipate:

I'M HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. ALL. THE. TIME. I haven't had an appetite like this in years. Figuring out what I can stuff in my face is a bit challenging at times, especially when I'm at work. I know it would help if I actually liked things like carrots and celery ... I've been eating lots of popcorn and Greek yogurt. It "helped" that I finally got my Vitacost order of several different gluten-free flours. (I went with Vitacost over Amazon because Vitacost's prices were way lower. I was surprised.) So I immediately made brownies. Tasted great, but I'm thinking that wasn't the greatest food choice! I also made gluten free pancakes, which tasted great but were way too runny. I've found a lot of good-looking recipes, so I'll keep experimenting!

Some of my gluten-free meals. Yes, that is a giant bowl of meat from Arby's :-)

As for how I'm feeling, well, it's been a mixed bag. One thing I've noticed is fatigue. I mean, I'm always tired, but twice since I've gone off gluten I've been so tired after work that I've taken a nap. I never nap. I'm sleeping between seven and eight hours a night, so I know I'm not sleep deprived. Weird. I even took a sick day last week because I was so exhausted after my shower that I had to lay down for a while. It was so strange. The next day, I felt "fine"—well, as fine as I ever feel. I was hoping (rather naively, I'm sure) that I would immediately feel a reduction in thyroid symptoms. (The fatigue could have nothing to do with this diet, but it's weird that it hit just as I made the change.)

But digestively, I've noticed a huge difference. I can't remember a time that I didn't have digestive issues—cramping, gas, constipation, diarrhea. While things aren't perfect, these are the best two weeks I've had in a very long time. Really, that alone makes this change worth it.

So I'm going to keep going. I'm still hopeful that it will help me feel "normal" again, but if it doesn't, I'll find something else to try. I'm learning a lot about Hashimoto's, I'm determined to keep fighting to feel better!

Read More

going gluten free: introduction

Today marks my fourth day of following a gluten-free diet. But don't confuse me for a bandwagon jumper. Just a few months ago, I scoffed at the idea of going gluten free and thanked the Lord that, while I may have a myriad of health issues, celiac disease isn't one of them.

Then I learned I have a thyroid condition called Hashimoto's thyroiditis, and that changed everything.

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) between my sophomore and junior years of college. I had some scary symptoms that made my doctor suspect diabetes, especially since my dad has Type I, but the results came back pointing to the thyroid. I was told that I would have to take an inexpensive pill every day for the rest of my life, have lab work done once or twice a year, and that would be that.

And it was...until it wasn't. In 2010, I started having some weird symptoms—tingling hands, heart palpitations, anxiety, extreme fatigue, headaches, light headedness. I wore a heart monitor and had a brain scan. Everything came back normal. My doctor was mystified. I began seeing a chiropractor, who diagnosed a neck sprain. For a few months, I saw him three times a week, and I still see him once a month. He also had me start taking an iodine supplement called Iodoral. Almost immediately, I began to feel better.

Flash forward to the fall of 2012. Following an ill-fated two weeks on birth control (prescribed because of extremely painful periods), during which time I was constantly nauseous and emotional, I began to feel "off." Besides fatigue, heartburn, and fairly frequent abdominal pain, I couldn't really pinpoint what was wrong, but I knew something was. Every once in a while, my doctor (by this time a different doctor than the one who diagnosed the hypothyroidism) would adjust my thyroid meds—sometimes up, sometimes down—and she "diagnosed" me with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) after an abdominal ultrasound didn't turn up anything alarming. She also tested my Vitamin D, which was very low. Supplements helped me feel some better, but I still knew something was wrong.

Then in October 2013, she ran a full thyroid panel and discovered my thyroid antibodies were high. She said this meant I had Hashimoto's, and we would regulate my meds by how I felt, rather than what the regular thyroid test said, for a while. She also recommended I stop taking the Iodoral. She didn't make a big deal about Hashimoto's, and I started feeling better once I stopped the Iodoral.

By April of this year, I was feeling horrible again, and I'd gained 10 pounds since October, though my eating habits and activity level remained the same (which is to say that I didn't really exercise—I wanted to, but I hadn't had the energy for it since starting to feel bad in 2012, but I didn't gain any weight until I stopped taking the Iodoral). When my blood work showed that my thyroid antibodies were still sky high (999), she referred me to an ENT. I had an ultrasound of the thyroid done, and it didn't show any suspicious nodes, which was good news. The bad news was the ENT couldn't really do anything for me, but he did take time to explain Hashimoto's. His recommendation was that I switch to name brand Synthroid (I had been taking a generic ever since my initial diagnosis), recheck my labs in three months, and then possibly see an Endocrinologist.

At this point, my frustration level was sky high. I had pinned my hopes on the ENT having answers, and when he didn't, I wasn't sure what to do. I thought about making a nuisance of myself and demanding a referral to an endo, but I'm not that girl (yet, anyway). What was I to do? I knew I didn't want to wait around anymore, but I had no idea what my next step was. Then, one night, I was on Facebook, and one of those Someecard pictures popped up in my feed. I can't remember what the photo was, but it had been shared from a page called Hypothyroid Mom. I clicked through to the page and found ... hope.

The women posting on Hypothyroid Mom are women just like me. We don't share all of the same symptoms, but someone mentioned each and every thing I deal with. It sounds crazy, but never before had I considered that there are other people who can truly understand what I'm going through—because they're going through it, too.

After finding Hypothyroid Mom (which is also a website), I started reading everything I could about Hashimoto's. There's a lot of conflicting information out there, but one thing that most people agree on is that a gluten-free diet can really help those with Hashimoto's to feel better. (I'm not talking about regular MD's here—the consensus across the board from patients and more "natural" doctors is that most doctors don't really understand Hashimoto's and treat it completely based on lab work.)

I truly believe God led me to the Hypothyroid Mom Facebook page. I had reached the end of what I knew to do, and this page has pushed me to start learning about my condition and take control of my health. I honestly don't know if going gluten free will help me, but why not give it a shot? I'm tracking my symptoms, what I eat, and how much I exercise each day. So far, I haven't really seen a difference, but it is just the fourth day. I'll post again next week about how I'm feeling and what I'm eating.

Until then, if you also struggle with thyroid issues (hypothyroidism, hyperthyroidism, Hashimoto's, or Graves'), I'd encourage you to sign up for the Thyroid Summit. It starts June 2, and it's free to watch. I'm sure I won't watch everything, but I plan to view the presentations that pertain to me.

Here's to better health and surviving Hashimoto's!

Read More